Everybody vs Kaathe
by Gordoth
Summary: Kaathe had decided it was enough. So, he packed his weapons and went out to kill EVERYBODY. Will he sucseed? Or not? Come and see, for even Shiva will be watching. Rated M because of a n00b getting pwned. Praise the SUN \[T]/


**A/N: OneShot. Came to me at 3 in the morning o.O**

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><p>"You know I never thought I'd see something like this before..." Said Lautrec, looking at Kathe wiggling around like a madman. Solaire patted his shoulder.<p>

"I see, what do you say, let's engage in JOLLYCOOPERATION and defeat this vile demon, aye?" Offered the knight, making his signature move.

\[T]/

Lautrec facepalmed but nodded. Better get rid of the crazy thing which couldn't possibly even do any harm than try to go for the crazy strong madman.

On their way down to the primordial serpent, they were met by a whole bunch of clerics, two mages and a pyromancer.

"We wish to aid you in your quest, oh holly and just knights!" Said Rhea, taking a step towards the duo. Her comrades nodded, and Vince even made his strange gurgling mumble.

"Yes, I can see that your bunch will strongly rely on miracles and melee combat, but I am planning on offering the skills of myself and Griggs here, to give toy the magical damage you need. We can also, provide ranged support and enhance your weapons!" Offered Logan, Griggs nodding enthusiastically.

"And I've got ma pyromancy. No doubt you're gonna need some fiah. Surely that beast will be tougher than he looks!" Added Laurentis. Solaire smiled and started blabbering about all the JOLLYCOOPERATION which was going on. Lautrec facepalmed again.

And so, the group set off to fight the great primordial serpent. Frampt was just looking at them from the distance.

Everyone was bruised and beaten, all the clerics capable of using a heal to remove injuries off of allies were down. Lautrec had lost a finger, his pinky finger to be exact. Solaire was praising the Sun (\[T]/) that they were all still alive. Logan was mostly unscathed.

"I thought I'd never have to resort to this..." Said Logan, and started unbuttoning his robe. Griggs' mouth fell agape.

"You are not planning to do that, master Logan, are you?" Asked the young sorcerer, staring at his superior.

"There is no other way." Replied the old mage, removing the upper half of his robe.

"Hhhhhhrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh..." Logan started exercising great force and effort, as if he was trying to take a shit. Everyone started staring at him, eyes wide. Logan was slowly surrounded by a blue aura, and golden sparks started radiating off of his body. He slowly started levitating, as his skin turned a bluish-white.

"RrrrgghhhhttYYAAARGHHHH!" Shouted Logan, his hair becoming longer and gaining a pale blue color, as his chest suddenly became so muscled it'd make Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous.

"Super SEATHAN!" Yelled Logan. Katherine was still wiggling, but he looked abscent mindedly at Logan who was seemingly gathering up some energy in his palms.

"CRYSTALDRAGONBREATH!" Shouted Logan, raising his hands in front of his mouth, but as he did so, his robe fell to the ground, revealing his underwear. It was nothing more than light blue panties.

Everyone's hearts skipped a beat, and Logan's skin turned red. His technique was cancelled. He lost his twelve-pack and his hair returned to white. He slowly reverted back to ordinary, grabbing his robe and putting it on. He started sobbing on Griggs' shoulder, who tried to comfort him. Kathe laughed at his adversaries who were losing sorely.

Then, the skies darkened. Everyone looked up, to see how the Sun cowered in fear. A giant beam of fire spewed forth, landing between Kathe and the group. The serpent had stopped cackling like a maniac and was now looking at the beam.

"Did you do that?" Asked Lautrec, looking at Logan, who just shook his head. Solaire was busy praising the Sun (\[T]/), to notice how a giant head appeared in the sky. It was brown, and as the head looked down on them, it spat a giant sword. But it dissipated before anything happened.

"Wut's goin on over here u scrubs?" Shouted someone, shaking the ground. The beam slowly dissipated to reveal... THE LEGEND.

"Oh... My... God..." Whispered Nico. Vince didn't gugrlingly mumble this time, he was just staring with his mouth wide open. A fly actually flew in and then flew out.

"#thelegendneverdies!" Shouted Shiva from next to Frampt, who was staring at HIM with wide eyes.

"He is the true God! He is the chosen undead!" Almost screamed the serpent, his eyes coming out of their sockets.

"Wut's dis? A st00pid snake?" Asked the Giant Dad, looking at the bunch questioningly, his pump hat and sunglasses on. No one could reply.

"DARK FLAME. DARK FLAME. Don't forget the resto shield and ur Chaos 2hander. What is it, r u cool yet? It's time to pwn some n00bs..." Continued Giant Dad, making Frampt piss himself, while Shiva got a heart attack.

After an epic and one-sided battle, Kathe died. Everyone praised Giant Dad and his almighty pimpness and SWAG, while Solaire kept praising the Sun(\[T]/) for sending Giant Dad.

Everyone lived happily ever after.


End file.
